Have you ever felt God prompting you to do something? I have. A few heartbeats ago, while sitting under a mosquito net in China, I felt God leading me to write ~ so I did ~ non-stop ~ from morning to night. Two years later I put all the scribbly notes onto my iPad at a guest house in Haifa, Israel. It took several years for God to prepare my heart to write the story. It is a story of a lonely, abandoned little girl. It is a story of God's amazing compassion, grace, mercy, and love.
So, once upon a time, fairly long ago, a little girl grew up feeling very lonely, abandoned, rejected, and unloved. Years living in other people’s homes convinced her she was the outsider ~ not belonging ~ so alone.
When she was a 21-year-old university student, she was disillusioned with life. It felt like there was a black, empty, hollow space growing inside her chest. The emptiness, darkness, and hopelessness of her life overwhelmed her. She felt the darkness was growing and choking out all that was good out of her life. She decided she had nothing to live for. It seemed suicide was better than living, so she stood by a window on the 18th floor of an apartment building and considered jumping. How do I know this? Because this is my story and I lived it.
While looking at that window, deciding what to do, I had a vision. I don’t know what else to call it. It's hard to explain. It had been a cloudless day but now thick clouds seemed to appear just outside the window ~ obscuring everything. I knew they weren’t really there, yet I could see them. I could see through the clouds and I saw a throne. I could not see His face but I knew the One seated on that throne was Jesus. I knew He was crying for me because of the pain, sadness, and brokenness of my life. He spoke ~ not with words I could hear ~ but with words that resonated inside me. “Rena, this is not My plan for your life. If you turn your life over to Me, I will bring more beauty out of your life than you could possibly imagine at this moment.”
Then, incredibly ~ before I had time to think ~ in a split second ~ I saw my entire life ~ kind of like seeing a high-speed video. It was too fast to see details, but I had the impression it was an incredibly beautiful life. Wisely, I chose to live. I began searching for God ~ everywhere. He seemed to be hiding. Thankfully, there was an invitation to a prayer meeting and I found Him! He wasn't lost...I had been.
I was broken-hearted that I had grieved Him by my life choices. I repented of my sins and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Saviour. Because of His mercy, I was forgiven. He saw a sad, lonely girl and In His great love and compassion, pulled me out of darkness into His amazing light. I was adopted into His beautiful, forever family. A child of God. No longer alone. Such amazing love. If I had died that day I would have missed out on so much God wanted to do in my life and throughout eternity. It sounds crazy, but I am thankful now. God used the scenes of my life to give me a greater heart of compassion for others. The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus set me free from the law of sin and death. I found Him ~ yet ~ I am seeking Him still.
A Life Set Free is a story of miracles and God’s amazing grace. It is also a story of incredible adventures I never dreamed I would live ~ praying with a voodoo queen in Haiti, staying at an orphanage in the jungle in Uganda, sharing the love of God in Mexico City as an earthquake shook the ground under my feet, leading a dying woman to Jesus in Belize ~ so many incredible stories. Did you know YOUR story is being recorded in heaven? It's the story of your life. I wonder if you will see it one day in a high-speed video. God loves you more than you can imagine. I pray He will strengthen you with power in your spirit, in your inner man, that Jesus will fill your heart and mind, and you will be transformed into His beautiful image. A Life Set Free is available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.ca/Life-Set-Free-story-faithfulness/dp/1092493484 or as an audiobook at A Life Set Free .
Please scroll down and leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings, Beloved of God.
Goodness! I needed this. I've felt so distant. I'm a believers. But, I've been struggling with doubt, depression, and despair. About so much.
Thank you.
What a beautiful story of God's redeeming love and his heart for his children. Thank you for sharing this glimpse of your life with us.
It's a beautiful, touching story, Rena, of what an amazing God we serve and how He can bring such joy and goodness from such despair!❤️
Thank you Rena, for sharing some of your story with us. I had no idea, because when I first met you you seemed so perfect as a Christian and I imagined you had the best upbringing, surrounded by much love and encouragement. I got full body goosebumps a couple of times and am so deeply touched by your words. You are an incredible example of a surrendered, redeemed human being. May God make Himself more and more real in your days ahead, great is His faithfulness! Thank you for all you do, you are a beautiful light and blessing from above. Your sister in Christ Holly